As Science of Us reported last week, a new study lends some empirical weight to a commonsense notion: Casual sex confers certain psychological benefits upon the folks who seek it out. Since psychologists are still early on in their attempts to shake off the puritanism that has draped conversations about casual sex in favor of actual studies and legitimate data, Science of Us asked Zhana Vrangalova, an NYU researcher and the study’s lead author, to name the remaining big unanswered questions about casual sex. Here are five ofthem.
1. How does aging affect the benefits of casual sex? Vrangalova’s study and many others focus on college students, and, as a whole, society tends to talk about “hookup culture” as being mostly about twentysomethings. “We know very little about casual sex past college age and how it’s related to mental health or anything else, really,” wrote Vrangalova in an email. When all your friends are married and your own sexual relationships are still casual, does the social stigma against sleeping around at an older age reduce the benefits you might otherwise accrue? Is it less enjoyable simply because of the biological effects of aging? We don’t yetknow.
2. Are all casual-sex arrangements created equal? Casual sex can mean different things in different contexts. Sometimes it’s an ongoing friends-with-benefits arrangements; other times, it’s a one-time drunken hookup. Do different sorts of casual-sex encounters have different impacts on the participants’ well-being? It’sunclear.
3. What are the long-term benefits or drawbacks of casual sex? “Thus far, most studies, even longitudinal ones, have examined relatively short-term effects: from a week to a year,” wrote Vrangalova, whose own study fits in this category. “More research is needed on what happens over several years orlonger.”
4. What accounts for the gender gaps in casual sex? Men desire casual sex more than women, “but whether that’s due to cultural or biological reasons remains a contested debate,” as Vrangalova told us. “Also, there’s a huge orgasm gap during hookups, with female college students orgasming about 40 percent of their hookups compared to over 70 percent of male students.” That, too, likely has to do with a combination of biological factors and socialized ideas about the “proper” ways to act and communicate during casualsex.
5. Are there big race- or class-related differences? For researchers on college campuses, there’s no easier, bigger group of potential study subjects than middle- and upper-class white kids. And while there’s nothing wrong with studying their sex lives, doing so, Vrangalova pointed out, provides only a limited view, and ignores early evidence of important race- and class-related differences. “There is some qualitative and a bit of quantitative research suggesting that class and race… interact with gender such that gender differences in desiring and engaging in casual sex are much greater at lower [socioeconomic status] than higher SES,” she said. “In other words, lower class and non-white (esp Black and Latina) women are less likely to desire casual sex than their higher SES counterparts, as if such desires are a luxury of those who are betteroff.”
Are you looking for some romantic date ideas or fun things to do on a first date with your special someone? There are few better ways to add some good old-fashioned romantic ideas to your relationship or marriage than taking your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend out on a thoughtful, fun date. Whether it’s your first date or you’ve been together for fifty years, an original, special romantic date will refresh your relationship and help you and your lover fall in love with each other all over again.
100 Fun Romantic Date Ideas & First Date Ideas
A Date at Rickshaw! Nothing can give you this amazing feelings, trust me; give it a try.
Riding bike is perfect dating idea. Go for it.
A Date at your sweet home
A date at your favorite coffee shop
A Date on the roof of your university. (the feelings will be awesome)
A date at the local park
A romantic picnic date
A date to a baseball game
A romantic afternoon walk together (also walking makes your mind fresh)
A date to fly a kite together
A date at the beach on a sunny day
A putt-putt golf date
A horseback riding date
A canoing date
A date to a soccer game
A romantic camping trip date
A date to a classic car show
A date to the local spa to pamper each other
A date to the local zoo
A date running a marathon or jogging together
A date at a high-class cocktail lounge or restaurant
A date to test-drive new cars together
A date to a volleyball game
A date to learn to para-sail together
A date cooking a romantic meal together
A date to meet each other’s family members
A date at the local museum
A date to the county fair
A bird-watching date
A date to pick fruit together at a local orchard
A date to take your kids, nieces or nephews to the park
A roller-blading or rollerskating date
A date to a football game
A date to tour new homes together
A date to learn to scuba dive together
A date to carve pumpkins together for Halloween
A date to the local flea market
A date to ride a romantic ferris wheel together
A date to look at flowers at the local greenhouse
A date to watch a romantic DVD or video together at home
A date to go on a hiking trip together
A date to play a round at the local golf course
A romantic dinner date at a four-star restaurant
A whitewater rafting date
A date to window shop at a nice shopping center
A date to go fishing together
A date to a basketball game
A date to a local art gallery
A date to color eggs together for Easter
A romantic tour of local historic places
A date to build a snowman together
A date at the first place you ever went out together
A date to a local air-show
A rock-climbing date
A date at the local mall arcade to play games together
A date to buy ice-cream on a hot day
A date to go to your local comedy club for some laughs
A date to pick wildflowers together
A date to tour local college campuses
A date to a hockey game
A date to an aquarium
A date to go boating together on a nice, clear day
A date to learn surfing together at the beach
A date to a play or a live stage show
The classic “dinner and a movie” date
A romantic afternoon sharing old pictures from your childhood
A date to the planetarium or science center
A date to a carnival
An afternoon sightseeing drive on a nice day
A date to a batting cage
A romantic ride in a horse-drawn carriage
A date to your local bookstore
A date to the pet store to pick out a pet together
A date to a boxing match
A date to the gym to exercise together
A date to a karaoke bar for some singing
A date to build a sandcastle together at the beach
A date to wash your cars together
A date to the horse-racing track
A date to your local pool or swimming hole
A go-cart riding date
A date to a romantic movie
A date to go shopping for new clothes together
A date to a downtown nightclub or dance club
A date to walk your dogs together
A date to a stock car race
A date to go target shooting or a shooting range together
A date to read to each other at the park on a nice day
An overnight date at a nearby bed-and-breakfast
A date to a local antique shop
A romantic sledding date on a snowy day
A date to a wishing well to make wishes together
A date to a wrestling match
A date to a local winery
A date to go bungee jumping together
A date to a friend or family member’s wedding
A date to local garage sales to go treasure hunting
A hunting date
A date to go skydiving together
A date to listen to the symphony together
A romantic hot air balloon ride
A date to play Frisbee together at the park
A date to a local amusement park to ride roller coasters
A date to a rock concert
A date to the casino to learn a new game togethe
Find a cool idea by thinking yourself. Its your duty now. Enjoy.....
Are you stressed? Struggling to sleep? Turns out there are a number of ailments that can be cured simply by having sex regularly. Here are twelve reasons why you and your partner should be having sex daily!
1. Sex Reduces Stress.
If you’ve had a long day at work or you’re simply feeling a little overwhelmed, then sex will help you relax and reduce your stress levels! During sex our bodies produce dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin which together help us to de-stress, increases our natural happiness levels and enhances desire.
2. Sex Is An Enjoyable Exercise.
When faced with the word ‘workout’ many of us will recoil in horror, unless of course that workout involves sex. Throughout sex our bodies are continually experiencing physiological changes that are consistent with an exercise routine. Our breathing rates rise which in turn burns calories, which means that if you have sex just three times a week you can burn around 7,500 calories a year. That’s the same as running 75 miles!
‘Sex is a really great form of exercise,’ says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness. ‘Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits.’
3. Sex Helps Your Immune System.
Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that their students who stated they had sex at least twice a week had higher levels of particular antibodies than those who had no sex at all. During sex, antigens like immunoglobulin A are released which are proven to fight the common cold and even flu! Even more good news: the more frequently you engage in sex the more antigens will be released and the healthier you’ll get.
4. Sex Lowers Your Blood Pressure.
Even if it’s just a quickie, some forms of physical contact can improve your blood pressure significantly. A study conducted by the University of Paisley found that sex reduces diastolic blood pressure – which is the bottom number on a blood pressure reading – making us healthier all around!
5. Sex Helps a Healthy Heart.
As our bodies burn calories, it also improves our heart health. Researchers from the New England Research Institute found that men are 45% less likely to suffer from cardiovascular diseases if they have regular sex.
6. Sex Helps Pain Relief.
If you’re experiencing aches, pains or migraines then sex may be a better form of pain relief than pills! Arthritis specialist Dr. George Erlich conducted a study on his patients and found that those who had sex often experienced significantly less pain than their counterparts who went without.
7. Sex Ensures Regular Periods.
If your periods are a bit erratic, it could be down to a stressful lifestyle. As mentioned previously, sex reduces stress and so will also have an impact on your menstrual cycle!
8. Sex Creates Powerful Pelvic Muscles.
As well as quads, back and core muscles, sex also works out your pelvic muscles! Is there a better way of building muscle? I don’t think so! By creating stronger pelvic muscles you also benefit by having better orgasms according to the National Health Service (NHS).
‘For women, as well as helping improve symptoms of urinary incontinence, strong pelvic floor muscles can also mean increased sensitivity during sex and stronger orgasms,’ the NHS states. ‘Pelvic floor exercises can also benefit men with problems such as erectile dysfunction (difficulty getting or keeping an erection) and urinary incontinence’.
9. Sex Reduces The Risk Of Cancer.
Particularly for men, regular sex reduces the chances of developing cancer. In an Australian study published the Journal of the American Medical Association, it was found that men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month were much less likely to suffer form prostate cancer.
10. Sex Makes You Sleep Well.
Like exercise, sex increases your heart rate which leads to relaxation. In addition to this, it’s common knowledge that male ejaculation leads to lethargy which can make men extremely sleepy after sex.
‘After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released,’ says Sheenie Ambardar, MD. a psychiatrist in West Hollywood, California, ‘which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness after sex.’
11. Sex Makes You Look 10 Years Younger.
Having sex three times a week can apparently make you appear 10 years younger than your real age! In his book Secrets of the Superyoung, Scottish researcher and clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, David Weeks states: “It’s good for you to have good sex.” What more incentive do you need?
12. Sex Lengthens Your Life.
The ultimate culmination of all of these wonderful, positive effects regular sex has on our health and minds is that we will add years to our life spans. In fact, a study published in the British Medical Journal revealed that male participants who had sex regularly lived twice as long as those who rarely got any action!
So there you have it: there are officially no downsides to having sex regularly, so get at it!
Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?
There’s a grey area in dating many people get hung up on — a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other. This grey area causes real, tangible issues. As a man, a huge question is often whether to be persistent and continue pursuing a woman even when she seems lukewarm or hot/cold on your advances. For women, a common question is what to do with men who make their feelings ambiguous.
“She said she’s not interested, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?"
“Well, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s hardly around. What does that mean?”
Most dating advice exists to “solve” this grey area for people. Say this line. Text her this. Call him this many times. Wear that.
Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving.
Frustration with this grey area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama and game-playing. This is where you get rules about making men pay for this many dates before you can become intimate. Or how men need to transition from attraction phase to comfort phase by qualifying three times before they’re allowed to commence an escalation ladder.
These things may seem clever and exciting to some people who are stuck or frustrated. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost.
Let me ask again: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?
What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you?
You wouldn’t buy a dog that bites you all the time. And you wouldn’t be friends with someone who regularly ditches you. You wouldn’t work a job that doesn’t pay you. Then why the hell are you trying to make a girlfriend out of a woman who doesn’t want to date you? Where’s your self-respect?
The entrepreneur Derek Sivers once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” It served him well in the business world and now I’d like to apply it to the dating world. And because I’m more of a vulgar asshole than Derek is, I’ll christen mine The Law of “Fuck Yes or No.”
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
As you can see, The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” implies that both parties must be enthusiastic about the prospect of one another’s company. Why? Because attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for people who they are not excited to be with and who are not excited to be with them.
This may sound a bit idealistic to some. But The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” has many tangible benefits on your dating life:
No longer be strung along by people who aren’t that into you. End all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping. End the disappoint and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-respect. Become the rejector, not the rejected.
No longer pursue people you are so-so on for ego purposes. We’ve all been there. We were so-so about somebody, but we went along with it because nothing better was around. And we all have a few we’d like to take back. No more.
Consent issues are instantly resolved. If someone is playing games with you, playing hard to get, or pressuring you into doing something you’re unsure about, your answer is now easy. Or as I often like to say in regards to dating, “If you have to ask, then that’s your answer.”
Establish strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Maintaining strong boundaries not only makes one more confident and attractive, but also helps to preserve one’s sanity in the long-run.
Always know where you stand with the other person. Since you’re now freeing up so much time and energy from people you’re not that into, and people who are not that into you, you now find yourself perpetually in interactions where people’s intentions are clear and enthusiastic. Sweet!
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is applicable to dating, sex, relationships, even friendships. You may have absolutely nothing in common with that bartender. But they’re hot and are interested in getting down. Is it a “Fuck Yes!” for sex? It is? Then game on.
Wrapped up in that sweet guy who treats you so well, except goes weeks without calling you and suddenly disappears after a couple drinks and a round of the horizontal polka? Been wondering if he really likes you? Do his excuses of being so busy all the time seem legit? It doesn’t sound like the answer is a “Fuck yes.” Then it’s time to move on.
Making out with a girl at your house and every time you go to take her shirt off she swats your hands away? That is not a “Fuck Yes,” my friend, therefore, it’s a no and you shouldn’t pressure her. The best sex is “Fuck Yes” sex — i.e., both people are shouting “Fuck Yes” as they hop between the sheets together. If she’s not hopping, then there’s no fucking.
(Hint Fellas: This is a great time to ask the girl why she’s not comfortable, and what she’s looking for from you. That, by itself — you know, treating her like a human and empathizing with her — often solves this “problem.”)
Want to date that woman you met last weekend but she keeps ignoring your texts and calls? Not sure what to say or do, especially since she seemed so happy to go out with you when you initially met her? Well, my friend, this is obviously not a “Fuck Yes.” Therefore, it is a “No.” Delete her number and move on.
Fuck Yes or No applies to relationships as well. My girlfriend works with a guy who got married because “it seemed like the right thing to do.” Four years later, he was cheating on his wife every chance he got. The marriage was not a Fuck Yes for him, therefore it should have been a No.
Sometimes The Law of Fuck Yes or No will apply differently on different levels. You may be a “Fuck Yes” for friendship with someone, but mildly excited to have sex with them. Therefore, it’s a no. You may be a “Fuck Yes” on banging someone’s brains out, but a definite “No” on actually spending any time with them. Apply the law to your decision-making as it suits your current needs.
Fuck Yes or No doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be falling in knee-wobbling love at first sight. It doesn’t even mean you have be completely convinced that someone is right for you. You can be “Fuck Yes” about getting to know someone better. You can be “Fuck Yes” about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be “Fuck Yes” about giving things a few months to pan out and see if you can fix the problems in the relationship.
The point is: both you and the other person need to be fuck yes about something, otherwise you’re just wasting your time.
A common Fuck Yes response from a woman. Flowers and all.
But the real beauty of The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is that it simplifies the problems you can have in your dating life. When applying the Law of “Fuck Yes or No,” there are really only two problems one can have.
The first problem is people who never feel a “Fuck Yes” for anybody they meet. If you are lukewarm on absolutely everyone you meet, then either your demographics are way off, or you suffer from a lack of vulnerability and are protecting yourself by remaining indifferent and unenthused by all of those around you.
Remember, it’s your job to look for something cool in everyone you meet; it’s not their job to show you. This is life, not a fucking sales convention. Learning to appreciate people you meet is a skill you cultivate. So get on it. This doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with everyone who breathes in your direction. It just means you need to take responsibility for your ability to connect with the people you are meeting.
The second problem is people who never meet others who feel a “Fuck Yes” for them. If all of the people you pursue give you a mild response, or outright rejections, then it’s time to focus on improving yourself. Ask yourself, what is it about yourself that would inspire others to say “Fuck Yes” about you? If the answer is not obvious, then you get to work. Build yourself into a person others would say “Fuck Yes” to.
And this is the ultimate dating advice lesson — man, woman, gay, straight, trans, furry, whatever — the only real dating advice is self improvement. Everything else is a distraction, a futile battle in the grey area, a prolonged ego trip. Because, yes, with the right tools and performance, you may be able to con somebody into sleeping with you, dating you, even marrying you. But you will have won the battle by sacrificing the war, the war of long-term happiness.
A couple weeks ago, in my letter to 20-year-old me, I was congratulating myself on not having been photographed topless. A few days later, I realized that wasn’t strictly true.
My roommate Jen Rector was a photographer, and she took a whole book of very reserved pinups. I’m amazed that I lived in an apartment with a photographer and a full bar and we still only managed to do 1940s-style damage.
It’s a testimony to how cautious I was, which is a shame because your early twenties is a great time to revel in stupidity. Play beer pong with bourbon. Pierce your tongue. Climb on the back of a motorcycle in Indonesia. What the hell.
When you’re young; you don’t have to make smart decisions to make sound decisions. You’re still mapping the territory, so failure is the quickest route between idiocy and enlightenment.
These are a few of the lessons I wish I’d started learning a little earlier. I haven’t mastered them yet, but now you get a head start. 1. Consider the source. If you’re worried about someone who dislikes you, first ask yourself whether they’re an asshole. If you don’t like them, and they don’t like you, that’s not a problem. That’s a mutual understanding. 2. Get off the couch. If you find yourself playing hard to get, don’t pretend to be busy. Just be busy. 3. Don’t waste your time. If you have to play hard to get, move on. You’ll know when you’ve found a healthy relationship because it won’t confuse you. 4. When in doubt, shut up. Silence is a smart negotiation tactic, the best option when you’re processing how to respond, and always more productive than lying about what you’re thinking. 5. Don’t complain. Maybe venting makes you feel better, but letting off steam can also lull you into maintaining the status quo. Unfortunately, the status quo is pissing you off, which is why you’re whining in the first place. If you’re frustrated, turn that energy toward fixing your problems, not bitching about them. 6. Don’t obsess. Worrying is complaint’s ugly cousin. Either use that energy to change your situation, or relax. 7. Find an age-appropriate style. No one wants to see a 20 year old in beige slacks and a wool blazer. Buy trendy clothes, wear the slutty dress, do something ugly with your hair. Be part of your generation, so you can laugh at the photos later. 8. Be polite. It keeps doors open, lessens the potential for misunderstandings, and increases the odds of getting invited back to the beach house. 9. But defend your boundaries. When someone isn’t taking no for an answer, clarify what you want, and then respond forcefully. Being polite to someone who isn’t hearing you is naive. 10. You look good. There’s no such thing as the hottest person in the room. Everyone is attracted to something different, so just take those odds and run with them. 11. Being nice is overrated. In fact, “nice” is the least interesting thing someone can say about you. 12. Keep it to yourself. “She seems nice” is an excellent thing to say about someone you don’t like. Particularly in the company of people you don’t know. 13. Know your audience. When you’re telling a story and someone interrupts you, let them. 14. Let your passion shape your profession. You know that thing your dad says? “If work wasn’t hard, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.” Please. There are professional rock stars, astronauts, puppy trainers, and bloggers. 15. Sex is personal. Don’t bother with one-night stands if they’re not your thing, and don’t judge people for enjoying them (or not). Waiting to sleep with someone doesn’t make you an uptight prude, and jumping into bed doesn’t make you a spontaneous adventure seeker. 16. Focus. The saying, “what you’re thinking about is what you’re becoming” isn’t just chilling, it’s a universal law. Be aware of how you’re investing your attention – including your words, and your actions. 17. Cut yourself a break. Don’t offer a running commentary on your own faults. When you do, the people around you listen. Give yourself space to change your character. 18. Don’t be intimidated. World travelers are just people who bought plane tickets. Pulitzer Prize winners are people who sit alone and write. You can break the most profound accomplishment down to a series of mundane tasks. 19. Choose good company. Ask yourself if a person makes you better or drains your life force. If the answer is B, you’re busy next time they call. And the time after that. 20. Enjoy your body. Odds are you’re more beautiful now than you will be again. Ask your roommate.
Why wait around for your sex life to fizzle when you can tackle sensual satisfaction proactively? These 50 basic tips are designed for healthy couples interested in having a good time in the sack on an ongoing basis. Even if things don’t pan out quite as planned, attempting—even discussing—each intimate act will bring you closer together.
1. Throw a two-person kissing party. For a minimum of thirty minutes, forbid yourselves from doing anything other than kissing. This will force you to get creative with your lips and to kiss body parts that are typically neglected during lovemaking. A kissing party also turns an otherwise benign sex act into something undeniably naughty.
2. Go “third hunting” together. Even if you have no intention of orchestrating a threesome, checking other people out and trading notes about what attracts you is a captivating exercise. Plus, merely addressing the possibility of inviting a third party into bed can be exciting.
3. Practice the art of fucking first. The next time you attend a special event or head out to a fancy, celebratory dinner, make a point of having sex before you leave the house. That way, you can get drunk without worrying about passing out too soon or failing to get it up later. Sober sex is generally better anyway.
4. Create your own sexual position. The Kama Sutra’s great, but dreaming up your very own sexual position and naming it yourselves is way more conducive to sexy memory making. Go ahead and bend this way and that until you’re tangled in a certain kind of body knot that deserves its own label. Et voila!
5. Play the penis game in public. It’s such a simple game (you just take turns uttering the word “penis” louder and louder somewhere in public), but the payoff is great. Why? Because it’s embarrassing and silly but also hilarious. Plus, it’ll make you feel like kids again.
6. Swap favorite pornos. You can trade links via email, or sit down for a double feature at home together. Either way, you’ll get a peek into your partner’s solo sex routine, and their innermost desires.
7. Draw each other naked. In Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio’s Jack sketches Kate Winslet’s Rose naked, the moment seems equal parts precious and sexy. Even if you can’t scribble the human form for shit, it’s fun to set the scene and get artsy.
8. Trade dirty jokes. Look some up online, or make some up on your own. The act of setting up a naughty pun and delivering a racy punch line essentially forces you to talk about sex, which is invariably arousing on some level.
9. Go wild with public displays of affection (PDA). Be “that couple” that hugs and touches and loves each other like no one’s watching, even if only for one carefree afternoon.
10. Go to third base at the movies. If the theater isn’t too crowded, sit in the back row, throw a jacket over your laps, and let things escalate from thigh rubbing to full on fingering and/or jerking off. You’ll feel like you’re taking a risk without being too lewd since it’s dark anyway.
11. Dare to have sex in public. There are tons of public places that are actually quite private, so you don’t have to risk getting arrested for public indecency to enjoy the thrill of pushing a boundary. Find a bathroom stall at a restaurant that locks and execute a quickie, or park your car in an alley or a sparsely populated lot and go crazy in the back seat like teenagers desperate for a sex sanctuary.
12. Leave the curtains and/or bedroom door wide open. If getting busy in public is too much of a stretch, create the illusion of letting strangers watch to start. Tapping into voyeurism even just a smidge can be hot.
13. Pledge not to have sex for a week. Yes, regular sex is awesome, and it’s one of the many advantages of being in a longterm relationship. But by swearing off masturbation and sex for a week, you position yourselves to thirst for each other so you can then reap the rewards of pleasure delay.
14. Shop for lingerie together. Underwear elicits sexy thoughts, so include your partner in the process of selecting it. Buying bras, panties, and even sexy nightgowns is more fun when you can share a changing room and ask your partner for input. You don’t even have to buy anything to make a joint lingerie excursion rewarding.
15. Stage an inter-relationship sexting challenge. Agree to sex at least hourly throughout an entire day and see who creates the raciest, sauciest naked photos. (If you’re paranoid, just crop your head out of the shots.)
16. Compete in a couple’s word-based sexting challenge. Sexts don’t have to include images to be effective. Some people are more verbal than visual, and some erotic vignettes are more powerful than dick pics and photos of naked breasts. So limit yourselves to words and emojis and swap illicit messages on the hour one day.
17. Arouse each other with voice notes. If you’re more into auditory stimulation than words or pictures, you can always use voice notes to create auditory sexts. Determine to turn each other on by narrating all the things you’re desperate to do to each other later.
18. Make a sex tape. You don’t have to be fame hungry to enjoy the process of shooting a sexy video starring you and your lover. Just position your phone so it’s pointed towards the bed, seduce each other, and roll around between the sheets. The only thing better than making a sex tape is watching it together later.
19. Have the loudest sex possible. Sometimes, spicing things up is as simple as turning the volume up. Make a point to vocalize your every move in bed, and scream your faces off as you go at it because noisy sex is hot. Promise.
20. Surprise your partner by welcoming them home totally naked. Just lie on the couch casually watching television or reading a book and await their return. Whatever troubles they faced that day will surely melt away as soon as they spot your naked body on display.
21. Cook and eat a meal together naked. Consuming delicious food is satisfying to the senses. When you throw nudity into the mix from start to finish, the pleasure factor more than triples.
22. Read erotica out loud. You can either draft your own erotic stories based on shared experiences, or search the Internet for free material. It’s mostly about your tone of voice, anyway. Sexy reading is uniquely arousing.
23. Perform a striptease. You don’t have to dress up to make the act of stripping your clothes off appealing. On a whim one night, surprise your boyfriend or girlfriend by making a spectacle of the act of undressing and watch how grateful they are for the impromptu show.
24. Give each other lap dances. Lap dancing might not come naturally to everyone, but it’s really not that hard. Just gyrate your hips, shake your booty, and wiggle your boobs. No matter how coordinated you are, the effort will be appreciated.
25. Masturbate for each other. For a lot of people, masturbation is a very personal thing, entirely separate from the sex life they enjoy with their partner. That’s exactly why it’s so special to let someone into your solo sex routine. In addition to the intimacy factor, it can be a great learning experience to watch your significant other touch him or herself.
26. Spank that ass. You don’t have to get aggressive to enjoy a good spanking session. You don’t even need any special instruments. Just grab a ping pong paddle or a use the palm of your hand. Be gentle to start, but don’t be afraid to take it up a notch, either. As long as you check in with each other regularly, you’ll be fine.
27. Blindfold each other. Whip out a couple of silk scarves or repurpose some men’s ties as eye shields. Together in darkness, you’ll fumble around a bit, but being deprived of sight will also prompt you to be more cautious and tender in making contact.
28. Tie each other up. Handcuffs can be somewhat intimidating, but when fastened in such a way that you can easily wriggle out of them, scarves or shoelaces provide the sensation of being restrained without compromising your ability to move entirely.
29. Join the mile high club. The bathroom stall will be cramped and it won’t smell great, but having sex on a plane is one of those couple’s activities that’s worth every inconvenience along the way.
30. Practice orgasmic meditation (OMing). OMing involves a kind of genital massage that leads to a prolonged climactic experience. You can watch instructional videos outlining how to do it online and then give it a whirl. There’s really no way to fail.
31. Try making her squirt. There’s a lot of debate surrounding whether or not women can ejaculate, but the very act of attempting to make a woman squirt is fun in and of itself.
32. Skinny dip. The next time you’re near a pool or the ocean or a lake or some other body of water, strip down to nothing and dive in. Swim around, body surf, and hold each other tightly beneath the water. You don’t have to have intercourse for an aquatic romp to be memorable.
33. Prepare an aphrodisiac centric meal. Many foods, including bananas, pomegranates, avocados, asparagus, oysters, salmon, chocolate, and strawberries, allegedly contain ingredients capable of triggering the human libido. So toast Mother Nature with a glass of red wine (also an aphrodisiac), eat up, and expect to get hornier as you indulge.
34. Play human platter for your partner. You can order takeout sushi and lay it all over one person’s naked body, but other foods are conducive to the human platter thing, too. Choose your cuisine and eat it off each other already.
35. Paint each other with chocolate syrup. All you need is an old sheet or a towel to lay on the floor so you don’t make too much of a sticky mess while you go crazy decorating each other’s naked bodies in between licking up traces of syrup or other condiments.
36. Shower together. Yes, shower sex is overrated. But it still provides a nice, wet change in pace. And it’s especially helpful as a follow-up to food related experiments.
37. Bathe together. Set the mood with bubbles, candlelight, and scented oils. Then relax together in the tub until you’re good and wrinkly. When you’re ready to get it on, dry each other off and head to the bedroom as quickly as possible.
38. Eat “miracle fruit” before sex . Your significant other’s scent and taste are magnetic, but a twist on the familiar can be titillating. There’s a natural berry that tampers with your taste buds in such a way that sweet can suddenly taste sour, so procure some and see if it makes your partner taste any different.
39. Give each other sensual massages. A scented candle that melts into massage wax sets the mood just right, but you can also just dim the lights, grab some baby oil, and rub your partner all over.
40. Have phone sex. You don’t have to be long distance lovers to appreciate the magic of a good phone sex session. By focusing on the auditory component of the sexual experience, you’ll finetune your dirty talking capabilities and take your sexuality to a new place altogether.
41. Fake an orgasm. There’s a reason that scene from When Harry Met Sally is iconic: It’s sexy to watch a woman fake a mindblowing orgasm. Give it a try and see how long it takes you to hop in bed together in pursuit of the real thing.
42. Reintroduce yourselves. Role play doesn’t have to involve costumes, or some complicated set up between a prisoner and his guard or a teacher and student. Simply pretend to be strangers and stage your first meeting so you can relive those early stage, lustful butterflies.
43. Dabble in power play. Take turns submitting to each other in whatever way you feel comfortable. That might mean complete submission during sex, or promising to sleep with your partner whenever they want for one week straight, which can be equally gratifying. Establish rules you’re both comfortable following for a set amount of time, then switch roles.
44. Try your best to “think off.” Thinking oneself to orgasm is possible. How exactly one climaxes through the mind alone remains unclear to scientists. What’s undeniable, however, is that trying to think off alongside the person you love is extremely entertaining, if not orgasmic.
45. Play the naughty version of Truth or Dare. You loved the game as a kid, but the grown-up version is even better because no questions or dares are off limits and you can get downright weird together.
46. Play Never Have I Ever. You think you know everything about your partner, but you probably don’t. Pry deep into their sexual history by sitting down for a lengthy game of Never Have I Ever, in which one person says, “Never have I ever [insert weird sexual activity],” and anyone who’s done it has to take a big slug of their drink. Hopefully you learn something, and get nice and tipsy along the way.
47. Pop some Viagra. The jury’s out on whether or not Viagra impacts female arousal, but there’s little harm in trying a small dose and seeing where it takes you. Who knows? You might just benefit from the placebo effect.
48. Experiment with a couple’s app. Technology isn’t just for singles looking to land a mate. There are a slew of apps (Happy Couple, Simply Us, Between, You & Me) designed to increase intimacy between couples and most of them are pretty amusing, even if you tire of them five days in.
49. Play with a remote controlled vibrator. Another great way to exploit technology within a relationship is to invest in a gizmo designed for dual pleasure. For example, Babeland’s Ohmibod vibrator can be tucked between one person’s legs while the other person holds the wireless remote, allowing them to buzz and tickle their partner’s genitals on the go as they wish.
50. Draft a couple’s sexual bucket list. Brainstorm all the sexy stuff you want to do together (using this list, maybe, plus your imaginations), and write all your sexual objectives down. Establishing a sensual bucket list will encourage you to keep tackling your various carnal goals together because crossing off to-do’s is perhaps more satisfying than anything.
