Why wait around for your sex life to fizzle when you can tackle sensual satisfaction proactively? These 50 basic tips are designed for healthy couples interested in having a good time in the sack on an ongoing basis. Even if things don’t pan out quite as planned, attempting—even discussing—each intimate act will bring you closer together.
2. Go “third hunting” together. Even if you have no intention of orchestrating a threesome, checking other people out and trading notes about what attracts you is a captivating exercise. Plus, merely addressing the possibility of inviting a third party into bed can be exciting.
3. Practice the art of fucking first. The next time you attend a special event or head out to a fancy, celebratory dinner, make a point of having sex before you leave the house. That way, you can get drunk without worrying about passing out too soon or failing to get it up later. Sober sex is generally better anyway.
4. Create your own sexual position. The Kama Sutra’s great, but dreaming up your very own sexual position and naming it yourselves is way more conducive to sexy memory making. Go ahead and bend this way and that until you’re tangled in a certain kind of body knot that deserves its own label. Et voila!
5. Play the penis game in public. It’s such a simple game (you just take turns uttering the word “penis” louder and louder somewhere in public), but the payoff is great. Why? Because it’s embarrassing and silly but also hilarious. Plus, it’ll make you feel like kids again.
6. Swap favorite pornos. You can trade links via email, or sit down for a double feature at home together. Either way, you’ll get a peek into your partner’s solo sex routine, and their innermost desires.
7. Draw each other naked. In Titanic, when Leonardo DiCaprio’s Jack sketches Kate Winslet’s Rose naked, the moment seems equal parts precious and sexy. Even if you can’t scribble the human form for shit, it’s fun to set the scene and get artsy.
8. Trade dirty jokes. Look some up online, or make some up on your own. The act of setting up a naughty pun and delivering a racy punch line essentially forces you to talk about sex, which is invariably arousing on some level.
9. Go wild with public displays of affection (PDA). Be “that couple” that hugs and touches and loves each other like no one’s watching, even if only for one carefree afternoon.
10. Go to third base at the movies. If the theater isn’t too crowded, sit in the back row, throw a jacket over your laps, and let things escalate from thigh rubbing to full on fingering and/or jerking off. You’ll feel like you’re taking a risk without being too lewd since it’s dark anyway.
11. Dare to have sex in public. There are tons of public places that are actually quite private, so you don’t have to risk getting arrested for public indecency to enjoy the thrill of pushing a boundary. Find a bathroom stall at a restaurant that locks and execute a quickie, or park your car in an alley or a sparsely populated lot and go crazy in the back seat like teenagers desperate for a sex sanctuary.
12. Leave the curtains and/or bedroom door wide open. If getting busy in public is too much of a stretch, create the illusion of letting strangers watch to start. Tapping into voyeurism even just a smidge can be hot.
13. Pledge not to have sex for a week. Yes, regular sex is awesome, and it’s one of the many advantages of being in a longterm relationship. But by swearing off masturbation and sex for a week, you position yourselves to thirst for each other so you can then reap the rewards of pleasure delay.
14. Shop for lingerie together. Underwear elicits sexy thoughts, so include your partner in the process of selecting it. Buying bras, panties, and even sexy nightgowns is more fun when you can share a changing room and ask your partner for input. You don’t even have to buy anything to make a joint lingerie excursion rewarding.
15. Stage an inter-relationship sexting challenge. Agree to sex at least hourly throughout an entire day and see who creates the raciest, sauciest naked photos. (If you’re paranoid, just crop your head out of the shots.)
16. Compete in a couple’s word-based sexting challenge. Sexts don’t have to include images to be effective. Some people are more verbal than visual, and some erotic vignettes are more powerful than dick pics and photos of naked breasts. So limit yourselves to words and emojis and swap illicit messages on the hour one day.
17. Arouse each other with voice notes. If you’re more into auditory stimulation than words or pictures, you can always use voice notes to create auditory sexts. Determine to turn each other on by narrating all the things you’re desperate to do to each other later.
18. Make a sex tape. You don’t have to be fame hungry to enjoy the process of shooting a sexy video starring you and your lover. Just position your phone so it’s pointed towards the bed, seduce each other, and roll around between the sheets. The only thing better than making a sex tape is watching it together later.
19. Have the loudest sex possible. Sometimes, spicing things up is as simple as turning the volume up. Make a point to vocalize your every move in bed, and scream your faces off as you go at it because noisy sex is hot. Promise.
20. Surprise your partner by welcoming them home totally naked. Just lie on the couch casually watching television or reading a book and await their return. Whatever troubles they faced that day will surely melt away as soon as they spot your naked body on display.
21. Cook and eat a meal together naked. Consuming delicious food is satisfying to the senses. When you throw nudity into the mix from start to finish, the pleasure factor more than triples.
22. Read erotica out loud. You can either draft your own erotic stories based on shared experiences, or search the Internet for free material. It’s mostly about your tone of voice, anyway. Sexy reading is uniquely arousing.
23. Perform a striptease. You don’t have to dress up to make the act of stripping your clothes off appealing. On a whim one night, surprise your boyfriend or girlfriend by making a spectacle of the act of undressing and watch how grateful they are for the impromptu show.
24. Give each other lap dances. Lap dancing might not come naturally to everyone, but it’s really not that hard. Just gyrate your hips, shake your booty, and wiggle your boobs. No matter how coordinated you are, the effort will be appreciated.
25. Masturbate for each other. For a lot of people, masturbation is a very personal thing, entirely separate from the sex life they enjoy with their partner. That’s exactly why it’s so special to let someone into your solo sex routine. In addition to the intimacy factor, it can be a great learning experience to watch your significant other touch him or herself.
26. Spank that ass. You don’t have to get aggressive to enjoy a good spanking session. You don’t even need any special instruments. Just grab a ping pong paddle or a use the palm of your hand. Be gentle to start, but don’t be afraid to take it up a notch, either. As long as you check in with each other regularly, you’ll be fine.
27. Blindfold each other. Whip out a couple of silk scarves or repurpose some men’s ties as eye shields. Together in darkness, you’ll fumble around a bit, but being deprived of sight will also prompt you to be more cautious and tender in making contact.
28. Tie each other up. Handcuffs can be somewhat intimidating, but when fastened in such a way that you can easily wriggle out of them, scarves or shoelaces provide the sensation of being restrained without compromising your ability to move entirely.
29. Join the mile high club. The bathroom stall will be cramped and it won’t smell great, but having sex on a plane is one of those couple’s activities that’s worth every inconvenience along the way.
30. Practice orgasmic meditation (OMing). OMing involves a kind of genital massage that leads to a prolonged climactic experience. You can watch instructional videos outlining how to do it online and then give it a whirl. There’s really no way to fail.
31. Try making her squirt. There’s a lot of debate surrounding whether or not women can ejaculate, but the very act of attempting to make a woman squirt is fun in and of itself.
32. Skinny dip. The next time you’re near a pool or the ocean or a lake or some other body of water, strip down to nothing and dive in. Swim around, body surf, and hold each other tightly beneath the water. You don’t have to have intercourse for an aquatic romp to be memorable.
33. Prepare an aphrodisiac centric meal. Many foods, including bananas, pomegranates, avocados, asparagus, oysters, salmon, chocolate, and strawberries, allegedly contain ingredients capable of triggering the human libido. So toast Mother Nature with a glass of red wine (also an aphrodisiac), eat up, and expect to get hornier as you indulge.
34. Play human platter for your partner. You can order takeout sushi and lay it all over one person’s naked body, but other foods are conducive to the human platter thing, too. Choose your cuisine and eat it off each other already.
35. Paint each other with chocolate syrup. All you need is an old sheet or a towel to lay on the floor so you don’t make too much of a sticky mess while you go crazy decorating each other’s naked bodies in between licking up traces of syrup or other condiments.
36. Shower together. Yes, shower sex is overrated. But it still provides a nice, wet change in pace. And it’s especially helpful as a follow-up to food related experiments.
37. Bathe together. Set the mood with bubbles, candlelight, and scented oils. Then relax together in the tub until you’re good and wrinkly. When you’re ready to get it on, dry each other off and head to the bedroom as quickly as possible.
38. Eat “miracle fruit” before sex . Your significant other’s scent and taste are magnetic, but a twist on the familiar can be titillating. There’s a natural berry that tampers with your taste buds in such a way that sweet can suddenly taste sour, so procure some and see if it makes your partner taste any different.
39. Give each other sensual massages. A scented candle that melts into massage wax sets the mood just right, but you can also just dim the lights, grab some baby oil, and rub your partner all over.
40. Have phone sex. You don’t have to be long distance lovers to appreciate the magic of a good phone sex session. By focusing on the auditory component of the sexual experience, you’ll finetune your dirty talking capabilities and take your sexuality to a new place altogether.
41. Fake an orgasm. There’s a reason that scene from When Harry Met Sally is iconic: It’s sexy to watch a woman fake a mindblowing orgasm. Give it a try and see how long it takes you to hop in bed together in pursuit of the real thing.
42. Reintroduce yourselves. Role play doesn’t have to involve costumes, or some complicated set up between a prisoner and his guard or a teacher and student. Simply pretend to be strangers and stage your first meeting so you can relive those early stage, lustful butterflies.
43. Dabble in power play. Take turns submitting to each other in whatever way you feel comfortable. That might mean complete submission during sex, or promising to sleep with your partner whenever they want for one week straight, which can be equally gratifying. Establish rules you’re both comfortable following for a set amount of time, then switch roles.
44. Try your best to “think off.” Thinking oneself to orgasm is possible. How exactly one climaxes through the mind alone remains unclear to scientists. What’s undeniable, however, is that trying to think off alongside the person you love is extremely entertaining, if not orgasmic.
45. Play the naughty version of Truth or Dare. You loved the game as a kid, but the grown-up version is even better because no questions or dares are off limits and you can get downright weird together.
46. Play Never Have I Ever. You think you know everything about your partner, but you probably don’t. Pry deep into their sexual history by sitting down for a lengthy game of Never Have I Ever, in which one person says, “Never have I ever [insert weird sexual activity],” and anyone who’s done it has to take a big slug of their drink. Hopefully you learn something, and get nice and tipsy along the way.
47. Pop some Viagra. The jury’s out on whether or not Viagra impacts female arousal, but there’s little harm in trying a small dose and seeing where it takes you. Who knows? You might just benefit from the placebo effect.
48. Experiment with a couple’s app. Technology isn’t just for singles looking to land a mate. There are a slew of apps (Happy Couple, Simply Us, Between, You & Me) designed to increase intimacy between couples and most of them are pretty amusing, even if you tire of them five days in.
49. Play with a remote controlled vibrator. Another great way to exploit technology within a relationship is to invest in a gizmo designed for dual pleasure. For example, Babeland’s Ohmibod vibrator can be tucked between one person’s legs while the other person holds the wireless remote, allowing them to buzz and tickle their partner’s genitals on the go as they wish.
50. Draft a couple’s sexual bucket list. Brainstorm all the sexy stuff you want to do together (using this list, maybe, plus your imaginations), and write all your sexual objectives down. Establishing a sensual bucket list will encourage you to keep tackling your various carnal goals together because crossing off to-do’s is perhaps more satisfying than anything.
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