7 Most Powerful Things You Can Say to Your Kids

Effective conversation helps parents create lasting, meaningful relationships with their kids. These 10 powerful statements can get you started on your way.

The Pew Research Center recently showed parents across America a list of 10 skills, asking the question: “Which of these skills is most important for a child to get ahead in the world today?” The winner, by far, was communication. In fact, not only was it chosen as the most important; it beat out traditional favorites, such as reading, writing, teamwork and logic.

Perhaps this is not surprising given our over-connected, always-on world. Yet parents often don’t realize how large of a role they actually play in developing and nurturing this skill. In my book, “Ten Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids: Creating the Relationship You Want with the Most Important People in Your Life,” I stress that effective conversation—what you say, how you say it, when you say it—is one of the only tools parents have in creating lasting and meaningful relationships with their kids.

As the father of two adult children and a grandfather to 13 in my blended family, I know that parents must be conscious of what they say and how they say it. Negative comments can often shape a conversation in a way we don’t realize and it’s important to be aware. Your words and conversations create your reality, your future and your relationships. What you talk about—or don’t talk about—defines your relationship. The primary conversations that surround your children are your conversations—both with them directly and with others while your children are present. And those are the conversations you have the power to change.

And you can start by using my list of the 10 most powerful things you can say to your kids:

1. I Like You: This is a different statement from “I love you.” This statement says, “I like who you are as a person.” Use them both

2. Your are a fast Learner: Learning is natural. Young children are amazing at it. Learning is play to them. What you say to them early influences how they relate to learning later in life, when it can be more difficult or frustrating.

3. Thank You: Simple courtesies are a sign of respect. Social skills are critical in life, and the best training for tact and grace starts early.

4. How about we agree to…: This is about establishing a few basic agreements that set the stage for how you work together within the family. Having agreements in place helps avoid common issues and provides a framework within which to solve problems when they do arise.

5. Tell me more: This is a request for your children to share their thoughts, feelings and ideas with you. It also involves learning to listen, which is always a gift because it signals that you care.

6. Let’s read: Reading to your kids brings so many benefits. It helps them build skills they need for success in life. It enriches your relationship and instills a love of learning. And books provide a gateway to the world—people, places and ideas.

7. We all make mistakes: Problems happen. No one is perfect. Dealing with problems and learning from mistakes are vital life skills. When you have a moment in which you don’t live up to your own standards, it’s an opportunity to show your children how to take responsibility for mistakes and move on. Kids can beat themselves up over not meeting your expectations or not being perfect. Giving each other a little room around this is a gift for both of you.

100+ Ways to Say: I Love You

One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I Love You’

1.   “I love you.”
2.  "You mean the world to me."
3. “Hold me close, my sweet.”
4. “It reminded me of you.”
5. “No, no, it’s my treat.”
6. “Come here.  Let me fix it.”
7. “I’ll walk you home.”
8. “Have a good day at work.”
9. “I dreamt about you last night.”
10. “Take my seat.”
11. “I saved a piece for you.”
12. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
13. “You can have half.”
14. “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.”
15. “Sorry I’m late.”
16. “Can I have this dance?”
17. “I made your favorite.”
18. “It’s okay.  I couldn’t sleep anyway.”
19. “Watch your step.”
20. “Here, drink this.  You’ll feel better.”
21. “Can I hold your hand?”
22. “You can borrow mine.”
23. “You might like this.”
24. “It’s not heavy.  I’m stronger than I look.”
25. “I’ll wait.”
26. “Just because.”
27. “Look both ways.”
28. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to.”
29. “Try some.”
30. “Drive safely.”
31. “Well, what do you want to do?”
32. “One more chapter.”
33. “Don’t worry about me.”
34. “It looks good on you.”
35. “Close your eyes and hold out your hands.”
36. “That’s okay, I bought two.”
37. “After you.”
38. “We’ll figure it out.”
39. “Can I kiss you?”
40. “I like your laugh.”
41. “Don’t cry.”
42. “I made this for you.”
43. “Go back to sleep.”
44. “Is this okay?”
45. “I picked these for you.”
46. “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
47. “What do you want to watch?”
48. “You can go first.”
49. “Did you get my letter?”
50. “I’ll do it for you.”
51. “Call me when you get home.”
52. “I think you’re beautiful.”
53. “Are you sure?”
54. “Have fun.”
55. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”
56. “I made reservations.”
57. “I don’t mind.”
58. “It brings out your eyes.”
59. “There is enough room for both of us.”
60. “You don’t have to say anything.”
61. “Wow.”
62. "You fill me with desire."
63. “Happy birthday.”
64. “I’ll pick it up after work.”
65. “It can wait until tomorrow.”
66. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
67. “It’s two sugars, right?”
68. “I’ll help you study.”
69. “Stay over.”
70. “I did the dishes.”
71. “You didn’t have to ask.”
72. “I bought you a ticket.”
73. “You’re warm.”
74. “No reason.”
75. “I’ll meet you halfway.”
76. “Take mine.”
77. “We can share.”
78. “I was just thinking about you.”
79. “I want you to have this.”
80. “Call me if you need anything.”
81. “Do you want to come too?”
82. “I’ll still be here when you’re ready.”
83. “Is your seatbelt on?”
84. “Sweet dreams.”
85. “I was in the neighbourhood.”
86. “Stay there.  I’m coming to get you.”
87. “The key is under the mat.”
88. “It doesn’t bother me.”
89. “You’re important too.”
90. “I saved you a seat.”
91. “I’ll see you later.”
92. “I noticed.”
93. “You can tell me anything.”
94. “I hope you like it.”
95. “I want you to be happy.”
96. “I believe in you.”
97. “You can do it.”
98. “Good luck.”
99. “I brought you an umbrella.”
100. “I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
101. “Take a deep breath.”
102. “Be careful.”

5 Things We Still Don’t Know About Casual Sex

As Science of Us reported last week, a new study lends some empirical weight to a commonsense notion: Casual sex confers certain psychological benefits upon the folks who seek it out. Since psychologists are still early on in their attempts to shake off the puritanism that has draped conversations about casual sex in favor of actual studies and legitimate data, Science of Us asked Zhana Vrangalova, an NYU researcher and the study’s lead author, to name the remaining big unanswered questions about casual sex. Here are five of them.

1. How does aging affect the benefits of casual sex? Vrangalova’s study and many others focus on college students, and, as a whole, society tends to talk about “hookup culture” as being mostly about twentysomethings. “We know very little about casual sex past college age and how it’s related to mental health or anything else, really,” wrote Vrangalova in an email. When all your friends are married and your own sexual relationships are still casual, does the social stigma against sleeping around at an older age reduce the benefits you might otherwise accrue? Is it less enjoyable simply because of the biological effects of aging? We don’t yet know.

2. Are all casual-sex arrangements created equal? Casual sex can mean different things in different contexts. Sometimes it’s an ongoing friends-with-benefits arrangements; other times, it’s a one-time drunken hookup. Do different sorts of casual-sex encounters have different impacts on the participants’ well-being? It’s unclear.

3. What are the long-term benefits or drawbacks of casual sex? “Thus far, most studies, even longitudinal ones, have examined relatively short-term effects: from a week to a year,” wrote Vrangalova, whose own study fits in this category. “More research is needed on what happens over several years or longer.” 

4. What accounts for the gender gaps in casual sex? Men desire casual sex more than women, “but whether that’s due to cultural or biological reasons remains a contested debate,” as Vrangalova told us. “Also, there’s a huge orgasm gap during hookups, with female college students orgasming about 40 percent of their hookups compared to over 70 percent of male students.” That, too, likely has to do with a combination of biological factors and socialized ideas about the “proper” ways to act and communicate during casual sex.

5. Are there big race- or class-related differences? For researchers on college campuses, there’s no easier, bigger group of potential study subjects than middle- and upper-class white kids. And while there’s nothing wrong with studying their sex lives, doing so, Vrangalova pointed out, provides only a limited view, and ignores early evidence of important race- and class-related differences. “There is some qualitative and a bit of quantitative research suggesting that class and race… interact with gender such that gender differences in desiring and engaging in casual sex are much greater at lower [socioeconomic status] than higher SES,” she said. “In other words, lower class and non-white (esp Black and Latina) women are less likely to desire casual sex than their higher SES counterparts, as if such desires are a luxury of those who are better off.”

How To Be Memorable Around Women And Create Attraction

How To Be Memorable Around Women And Create Attraction

Today I’m here in rainy London, what a shock rain in London this never happens right? Ah! Anyways we’re here talking to today, walking around and doing a little coaching, and one of the things I was talking about was how to be really memorable.

Most people are not memorable. Most people walk in the store to shop, and they walk in with an objective in mind such as to go buy a shirt, or a soda, a coffee or whatever it might be. But they don’t connect with anyone, and that’s one of the biggest mistakes you can possibly make. When I walk into a store, for one I always want to be memorable, because if I go back to that store I want to be greeted like an old friend. So when I walk in I slow down, and I walk really slow and look around, immediately making direct eye contact with the person behind the register or the person walking around. I say, “How are you today”, or “How is your day going”, and immediately begin bonding with that person.

The reason being is because they are in zombie mode, as in an “Oh God I have to work at this store, I don’t like working here, and all the customers are rude”. Yet all of the sudden you become that guy, and you ask them something, like “how’s your day going”, and they start telling you, so you listen a bit and you find out something about them. But here’s the most important thing, you go to the same stores every single day, most of them being the exact same ones, but yet you don’t engage with that person behind the register.

Today we went to a sandwich shop, and I looked at the woman behind the register and I had an egg sandwich, and I said, “Maybe I’ll get the bacon one, what’s your favorite”? So she looked at me and said, “Ah, you got the egg one right”? So we played around for a bit and we talked, and I’m sure you wish you saw the conversation, but I’m giving you the highlights anyways. And all of the sudden as I left I looked at her and said “Annie you have a great day”, and she said, “You too” back to me. 

So the next time I see her I can go, “Hey Annie how are you?” Meanwhile, Annie might be checking out somebody at the register who’s paying for food, and that might be the beautiful woman you always wanted to talk to. However it’s about creating attraction, and becoming memorable then creates attraction for all the customers in that store because you knew the store clerk or store manager.

That’s it, time to go enjoy the rain. 

This article originally posted on: http://www.nextluxury.com/mens-lifestyle-advice/how-to-be-memorable-around-women-and-create-attraction  I loved it, So I published it. I hope Admin wont mind for this cause I give him a backlink and full credits.